We here at SnM make a lot of jokes about death and draw lots of funny pictures of people getting killed. You might think we think life is insignificant. You are retarded.
From that first bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch to that time you jerked off thinking about that chick at the coffee shop you will never, ever bang, ever, Life is fucking sweet. Well, ours are. We could really give a shit about your life but don't, cause we're too busy eating chicken. Good chicken, too, with all the proper seasonings.
Sadly, we can't eat chicken forever. Until now that is. Our team of highly trained and entirely fabricated scientists have created a fucking robot! And all you gotta do is jam these wires into the back of your skull like so:
(Ok, right here, you have to imagine this fucking guy with these painful looking wires sticking out of his brain. Probably his eyes are bulging out and there's blood everywhere. I got bored of looking before I could find said picture. Sorry. Also, fuck you, Internet. How will I ever learn to love again?)
Then you download your brain-thoughts onto this handy-dandy cd rom module. Send that shit to us with a self-addressed, stamped envelope for some reason, and we will program this robot with your memories so you can live forever! Amazing, right? Did I mention the robot has rocket launchers? You know you want it.
In the process, we might steal your thoughts and sell them to our sponsors in order to develope the perfect advertising gimmick. Oh, and the wire thing might kill you, which is OK, since death is harmless and funny.
No comments:
Post a Comment