This one's for the fans

I'm not ashamed to admit that I read these blogs over and over, naked, marvelling at my sublte word plays, clever allusions, and gigantic wang. Well, after today's post-read clean up, I realized I've been pretty hard on our adoring audience, what with the death threats and personal insults.

I'm not sorry, but I am hungry. Hungry for delicious, greasy friendship. After all, what would I be without you? Just some ass wart talking to himself on the internet. Wow, that would be pathetic, and gay somehow. Luckily a vast readership of over 9,000 readers read this site every day, thus validating the neglect I heap onto my family and catipulting me into the gold plated halls of fame and glory.

That kind of power might corrupt lesser men, just knowing they could command legions of quirky but sexy nerd girls to gobble their junk at the drop of my pants. But not me. No not us. We have morals. And class.

My point is this: we haven't forgotten our friends, yet. We actaully like you and don't want you to die, unless you're shot down in a hail of gunfire because SnM used its subliminal mind fucks to convince you to give salmonella to school children. The publicity would really help.